The Non-wedding of My Dreams

Since I was little, I've always carried that silly little girl dream of getting married while wearing one of those awesome dresses, moving into a decently sized house with a picket fence, and all that goes with that life. As I've gotten older, I tend to not want that kind of thing, yet I find that I still yearn for it in the back of my mind. I think the source of the unwanting is due to my anxiety and sadness comes with that since it's looking like I won't get what I actually had wished for. I' not sure that I could ever overcome this fear to ensure my own happiness, I'd like to, but there's so much involved that I doubt it. It's hard for me to watch movies and shows with weddings knowing this and I wish that I could eventually get myself to have what I've always wanted. Maybe, one day.